I started thinking about friendships and how they evolve and grow taking different shapes as our lives change and grow.
Here's a great definition of "friend" from the Urban Dictionary it's not too spiritual, but it does have something to say!
"A real friend is someone who:
a) it's okay to fart in front of. b) you don't mind talking to on the bus for at least 20 minutes. c) can borrow $5 and never has to pay it back d) you'll actually call up do stuff.
Bob: "Hey Jim, you wanna go see a show downtown"
Jim: "Sorry man, I'm broke, and how are we gonna get there." Bob: "No problem, I'll lend you the 5 bucks and we'll take the bus." Jim: "Yeah, okay" (loud farting sound) Bob: "Whoah! That was a good one!" I have a couple of examples of friendships I watch intently and hopefully, have learned from. Michael W. Smith sings "a friend's a friend forever... And a lifetime's not too long to live as friends." My daughter, Emily, has one of those friends. She is 33 now and Mary Elizabeth has been her friend since fourth grade. How long is that? They text almost daily, talk when Mary's phone works, visit yearly, and think of each other momently. They have traveled the world and back together, watched each other fall in and out of love until finally both (at about the same time) found wonderful husbands. I have been so blessed to see this relationship grow through the years. Honestly I am pretty envious of them! But they have worked at their friendship, making space in their lives for each other. It is truly grand to watch! (These two only lived in the same town for about three years before we moved half way across the country) Let me tell you a little about another set of friends. My husband and John have been friends since second grade ( they are both 57 now). They played, camped, smoked, drank, fought, and collected a mass of pocket knives together. Sometimes when I hear them haggling over a knife, one or the other will say something like "no, you just hold onto it; no need to buy it, just hang on to it for me for a while." This goes on year after year! John is the kind of friend that will drop and run if you are in need. He has been there for Hartley at times no one else would give him the time of day! They talk every day, play guitars about twice a week, and we have dinner together about once a month, or more. It's a lifetime friendship, and as noted in the lyrics above, "a lifetime's not too long to live as friends." Friendships like these are few and far between, and you're lucky if you have one. I have to remind myself I have really good friendships even if they don't look like the two described above. I don't have a friendship like Emily and Mary, or Hartley and John. I wish I did but I don't. But I have wonderful friends! We move in and out of each others lives, gracefully flowing back and forth; it's always easy to pick up where we last left off. I am blessed with my lifetime friendships but still long for one of those that uses the back door unannounced with a piece of pie asking if the coffee is on! (I think there may be one on my horizon because as I get older I won't have the time constraints that bog me down now!) My friend Jo and I used to have that kind of "backdoor"relationship. We would pick up each others kids from school and call to say we had their kids and dinner would be ready at 6! While the kids played, we would talk about our dreams and our plans for the future. We laughed a lot. We cried a lot. We shared our hearts always! Time and circumstances changed and so did we. Hartley and I moved to Kansas City, MO, Durham, NC, and Waco, Texas before we ended up back in the same town again with Jo and Dru nearly 27 years later. We always stayed in touch and would visit once or twice a year, always gracefully flowing back into each others lives. For example, Jo would come to Texas and help me with huge weddings. I'll never forget one time, I asked her if she wanted to finish a big arrangement (retailing at $400); she said sure, and started cramming hydrangeas in it like she had been doing it for a lifetime! (Hartley and Dru would be somewhere smoking pipes and talking theology. They have been friends since they were about 5 years old.) One time Jo came to Dallas, as a support group of one, when Emily and I were doing a floral demonstration and speaking to a really exclusive Dallas Garden Club (Laura Bush was a member in absentia, while they were in the White House). I couldn't have made it through without her saying you guys are going to be great! We are in the same town again but as time has passed and life has continued, our friendship is different than when we lived here way back when. It is still a deep seated, honest to goodness friendship that has just taken another shape. I got a call from Jo the other day while she was driving to Little Rock to pick up Dru after a mission trip to Haiti. We talked almost the whole trip! It was wonderful! Jo isn't much for long phone conversations so I felt very special indeed! Time and space change things in even the closest of friendships but it doesn't mean that they change for the worse. They just change. I love Jo and she loves me and if called upon, would lay down her life for me. I am so truly grateful for her friendship--whatever shape it happens to take. Jo is a lifetime kind of friend.
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