It was Memorial Day weekend and if I was going to post about Mental Health Awareness Month I needed to get my butt in gear! Thinking I would write about awareness of mental issues in the church, I had a surprising turn around in my direction.
I met Ms. Bettie. She is about 80 years old and she is bi-polar and not on her MEDs. Sweet sweet little lady but definitely in the midst of a manic episode.
I was waiting on her at our annual sale when she turned to me and said " I'm bi-polar and I am not taking my lithium anymore because I don't like the way it makes me feel." Now that's a conversation starter if I ever heard one! I replied " isn't that interesting I am bi-polar as well!" I told her that I had gone through many different medications before I found a regimen that I could live with. All the while we were talking she was gathering. It was more like hoarding than shopping! Five or more of one item and up to ten of another item all the while talking about needing gifts for this one or that one and some she wanted just in case she might have someone to give it to. I knew the symptoms all to well. I had worked at a store that had really cute dollar items that I gathered daily and stashed them away under my counter like a squirrel preparing for winter. Actually I had enough squirreled away for several winters! (Still have some in a drawer and I haven't worked there in 4 years!)
I wasn't exactly sure what I should do for Ms. Bettie. I knew I didn't like to be "handled" when I was experiencing symptoms like her's. What do you do when you know someone is in need and has even told you so! Well, one thing I did was terribly wrong.
May I use you as my priest for a moment. You need to understand that I am a cracker jack salesperson and this looked like the perfect storm! I suggested an item I knew she would buy just because I showed it to her. She took all of them and I felt like throwing up for taking advantage of another human being suffering from a mental illness that had complete control of her. I was so ashamed of myself. I had even been fighting off making purchases in bulk myself and here I was feeding her illness. I need forgiveness, please!
After stocking up for a while she took a break to check on her
husband waiting (not so patiently) in the car. I heard him shouting at her about where in the world are we going to put all these things because there is no more room in our house!
When she returned they had decided to leave and go to lunch because her husband's blood sugar was dropping and he was getting a little agitated with her. I took a deep sigh of relief thinking that she might forget all the things we had put aside ( around $400 worth of stuff!)
My boss thought it would be best if we just put all the items back into stock (stroke of genius on her part) and if they came back we would just deal with it then. I didn't have a clue how I would approach her with the news I had put her stuff back out for sale after spending about an hour picking it all out! Maybe just maybe she wouldn't return and I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Moments later they drove back up after a quick sandwich at DQ. (What do I do now?) I gathered myself up and walked out to the drivers side of the car and motioned for her husband to put down the window. I laid my hand on his arm and told him that I too was bi-polar and understood what his wife was going through and that I would like to help her shop if it would be okay with him. He was obviously moved by my willingness to work with his wife and he said that would be wonderful and please help her find things for herself. Then I broached the subject of putting her things back in stock! Ms. Bettie was not happy with me! But I promised to help her find the things she really wanted and needed. Ms. Bettie got out of the car and we walked together to the sale area and proceeded to shop together! After making some really good decisions I noticed that she had "snuck" a few extra items into her pile. I screwed my confidence up and said "Ms. Bettie this is the last item you are going to buy today." She smiled at me and promised that was the last item and we shook hands on it!
We ended up our time together exchanging phone numbers and addresses, big hugs and lots of kisses! Before leaving the parking lot they backed up and called for me to come to the car and she gave me a copy of the "Upper Room", a Methodist devotional. She wanted us to do daily devotions in sync. I was blessed.
I have heard from Ms. Bettie and directed her to my psychiatrist. I hope he will be as good for her as he has been for me.
Mental Health Awareness Month is coming to an end but our awareness never should.
Peace, till we visit again! Stay present, feel your butt in your chair, wiggle your toes and remember to breath!
Names have been changed to protect the innocent.(I used my crazy girlfriends name! Thanks Bettie!
Update on Ms. Bettie, She is safely in hospital under the care of an excellent psychiatrist! Her husband called me this morning just to say thanks and where she was! Pray for her husband as well it is very difficult to be a caregiver in these situations. Thanks and Peace till we visit again!
