Dream Safe!

I haven't posted in a while because I needed  time to deal with some disappointments. You know from earlier posts the plans we had made about teaching English as a foreign language. You also know from previous posts  that didn't pan out. The last couple of weeks I have been trying to work through my disappointment.
I didn't really have a plan for dealing with disappointment because my expectations were so high for these plans working in our favor. I don't think that having high expectations is a bad thing. Expectations add excitement to life! Expectations add joy to life! We need expectations to live!  However, we also need to learn to deal with unfulfilled expectations as they are simply a part of life.
Some of the feelings that I experience with unfulfilled expectations ( disappointments) are anger, extreme anxiety sadness, depression, as well as failure.
What do I do with those emotions? I may cry, pout, shout, shut down, give up or turn around and put all my stock in another plan!
I feel like these emotions and reactions to disappointments are okay and even normal  for a season, as long as that season doesn't turn into a very long and cold winter. 
Hartley gives me great perspective on negative emotions he tells me " this too will pass". He is oh so right!  Only in the midst of them that  for me that is very hard to hear but it is definitely true.
I am learning ( at 56 years old) to look at my disappointments and try to understand  them. Why did this particular disappointment hurt so much?
I had to look at how much weight I was placing on the expectations of a positive outcome. I felt like our entire future was based on a positive outcome of this expectation. That is way out of whack!
I have to learn to put the right amount of emotional weight on each expectation. That is not easy to do when you're the kind of person that dreams really big dreams and can make up a future that has all the sights and sounds of reality in a moment's time! ( I take MEDs for this) All kidding aside putting too much weight on a situation can cause devastating  consequences. It's time to lighten up a little on the emotional weight we put on expectations, for our emotional as well as physical health. Big hard lesson for me to learn!
I need to allow myself  to dream but not let my dreams drag me into a false reality that can easily turn into a nightmare.
The "disappointment effect" can be overcome and lessened with each disappointment if we learn to live in the now and also become aware of how much weight we are putting on a positive outcome.
Heavy stuff for a little old ladies blog about stuff I should have learned half a lifetime ago. I promise to lighten up in the next post! Well, peace till we visit again! Keep dreaming but dream safe!

Dreams

Beautiful  isn’t it!  What I would give to get to live in a place like this. I have had dreams of a silent retreat, a place to recoup and refresh. A place like in Tolkien's words "a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep or storytelling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all." This has been my dream for many many years. But ( I hate buts) it is still just a dream. I wrote a poem about dreams the other day it is not a very happy poem and I am a little afraid to share it with you because it shows some of my worst sides, anger, disappointment, jealousy. I would assume you like my funnier side. Will you stay with me if you know my darker side? I think I will risk it.

Dreams , I think are haunting spirits.
Not the dreams of sleep.
The deep, longing , dreams of when you are fully awake.
Dreams you can see in that other eye and feel on your skin and make you scream inside for things far from reach.
Dreams , I think are haunting spirits that suck the air from your lungs,
That tease and taunt and call to mind all that isn't.
Dreams are soul stealers that keep you from living what is called now.
These are dreams , I think .

Not everyone gets to live their "dream" so maybe we can just live now. Peace . 12:44 AM 4/13/2013

Well are you still there? I don’t always think sweet birdsong thoughts but it doesn’t make those thoughts any less true than the ones I have here. I still dream of a place like Rivendell but maybe it isn’t on this side. If I find it here you are more than welcome anytime. Peace, till we visit again!

Adventure in the neighborhood!

I told you that I was going to try to make everything into an adventure so I decided that taking a walk could be an adventure! I worked all morning trying to learn to work my new camera then took off outside around the house!

These beauties were one of the first I saw!  Beautiful weeds in my front yard! I won’t mow till they are gone! (Our neighbors love us)

The pic above must look like a blob of greens!  But the stalks are growing and the ants are coming (they can’t bloom without the ants helping them) and they will soon be beautiful pink and white peonies! My absolute - almost - pretty sure my favorite flower!  When I was a kid there was what I called “the peony patch” Just down the hill from my house.  I loved going down there when they were in bloom. It was an adventure! It was always near Mothers Day so I would get on my bike and head down the hill to the patch and  pilfer through the buckets and buy the best of the “seconds” for my mom!  (The first grade quality went to florists around the area). It’s kind of sad that now you can get peonies almost year round.    Now they are grown in several different states and countries with different growing seasons like Washington State, Oregon, South America, New Zealand, Israel and Holland. I just look forward to them in my yard in May! ( I’ll take a picture when they bloom )

• Can you see what I caught in the lens? It's a May Fly I think on this Japanese Maple!  I’m still in my yard! I guess you don’t have to go too far to  find an adventure! This bush is heavenly when in full bloom!  Its name is “Bridal Wreath”. I just gush over it when using it in a wedding.  It leaves a little snow of blooms following the bride down the aisle!

I finally made it out of my yard and 3 houses up the street!  I’m curious if the folks inside were looking out their windows as I wandered into their front yards!  This is a Dogwood, and the state flower of Arkansas and  also a symbol of the Church.  I love the symbolism of the crucifixion of Christ, nature has done a beautiful depiction of a horrific experience.  Check out this description of the symbolism: http://www.visualforces.com/christian/photography/nature/the-dogwood/.

Last but not least the lowly Dandy Lion! Unless you were just overwhelmed with allergies as a child this little bloom was a wonder! Fully bloomed you would pluck it up and blow! Wonder of wonders as you watched the individual petals drifted up, up and away!

A walk in the neighborhood can be an adventure as well as a walk down memory lane so get out there maybe take your camera and share with me  what you find! Peace, till we visit again! Happy Trails To You!

What If's and Promises....

I woke up from a nap this afternoon singing "what ifs and promises" I scrambled to the computer thinking it was the "Love Story" theme. Not that! So I typed in random words I thought I knew and it was "We've only just begun" by the Carpenters."What if's'" must have been in my thoughts because I had planned to blog about them again today. What ifs and promises, a kiss for luck and we're on our way, we've only just begun. It's "white lace and promises" dim whit! ( Me not you my precious readers)! It sure did seem to fit what I was ready to blog about, shoot I thought I had the perfect segue into my blog!
I feel like I need to apologize to my readers. I almost feel like I lied to you, but I promise I will never ever do that!
If you remember in the first blog I laid out a plan that Hartley and I thought we would be following. It was kind of a list (without the bullet points because I hadn't learned about this at the time). Then we talked about the what ifs, remember? The list started off with "what if Hartley doesn't pass the course?". It didn't even occur to me to start that list with "what if Hartley doesn't get into the program?"  This is a very very smart man we are talking about! He has a B.A., M. Div. and a Th.M. That last degree was from Duke I am very proud to say! This is no dummy but he was not accepted into the Bridge CELTA program in Denver. Needless to say we have had a very upside down kind of a few days. I didn't want to blog because I was embarrassed and felt like I had misled you in some way. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I thought this could happen but I didn't give it much weight at all. If I had given it any weight you would have known about it. We were banking on this. Hopes were high, dreams awakening, adventure was just ahead!
Now what? Now that we have sort of caught our breath and almost stopped wanting to hurt someone Hartley is looking at other certifications. These may not carry the same weight as a CERTA but folks are teaching English all over the world with less.
My blog started out with us going on an adventure and Hartley reminded me that anything can be an adventure. My pledge to you is to look for an adventure in everything I do and hopefully inspire you to the same.

"Sharing horizons that are new to us. Watching the signs along the way. Talkin' it over, just the two of us. Workin' together day to day, together, together"

Read more: THE CARPENTERS - WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN LYRICS  A little corny but a little inspirational too!
Peace, till we visit again! Thanks for reading today!

          

I'm a leaper!

Good afternoon! You need to know something about me. I have a little manic tendency to jump into something with both feet. No research, study, not much thought, I'm a "leaper". It seems no medicines, husband, friends can stop me before I leap!
My blog for example:
Post #1 I heard some words from a friend's mouth and by that evening the first post was up for the world to see! I didn't know about formatting, how to add color (properly), didn't use spell check (I didn't know where it was and I was afraid if I didn't push publish it was never going to happen), didn't have a real "theme" that would make my blog followable, I just jumped in!

POST #2 still hadn't found spell check but I loved playing with the colors! I have no idea how I ended up with such a mishmash! There was also this problem with random bold print showing up here and there! I was trying to stick to a themeish (my word) sort of line but I am not really sure it happened.
The theme "Adventure Awaiting." Hartley says that can be anything from getting married to learning underwater basket weaving! I have to have a solid theme(it's yet to come). I figured out the bold bit! This laptop (bless Charlotte for it) has spirits living in it and when you press certain buttons like B for example words turn bold,sometimes.
Post #3 found spell check! I also found a customize your format place! I can't always get back to these places even if they are right in front of me! It's a learning not leaping kind of thing now! I still don't know how that 14" of blankness got on the end of my blog!
Post #4 spell check checked! Got a new font from a spot at the top of my blog that says Design! My whole world changed! Colors, new fonts, customizing my blog, (each area can have its own font how cool is that!) And then there were "gadgets"! I wanted every gadget I could find until I looked at the monster I had created. Things were flashing and moving along the sides of the post that made it totally unreadable! It was fun though! Another "leaper" kind of behavior!
Post#5 Looks good and since I like to hear myself talk I think it sounds pretty good too! Yeah! Spell check! Now is there a button for commas and stuff?
Post#6 Love what I've got to say and looks good too! Now for a theme.
Peace until we visit again! Happy April Fools Day! I'm not really looking for a theme!!!

Pot Holes,Ruts and Bumps in the Road

When I was pregnant with our first child I would walk, climb stairs anything to start the labor. I was so tired! I was tired of mother saying "it's a full moon,(waning or waxing didn't matter) surely she will come tonight" or "let's eat something really spicy and see if that will help". Oh, how tired I was of old wives tales!
The one thing I think really did help (in my mind at least) was riding around in an old delivery van that was bumpy as HELLO! Hartley and I would laugh as this huge person in the passenger seat would flop around, grab for the door, look for anything to hold on to! (Wet my pants and hope it was my water breaking). Inevitably his route would take him to the back forty of east bageezus!!!! With every washed out rut and pot hole I just knew my water was about to break! No such luck! My water didn't break for another week or so while we were having a relaxing dinner and a huge slab of coconut pie at The Club Cafe! The waitresses were so excited cause we were like family there. We had eaten there since we were in high chairs and now a new generation was about to appear!
Like you we have all hit bumps in the road. Some have only made us reach for the oh ---- handle, others caused a flat tire, while others have caused a wreck with irreparable damage. In our lives we have experienced all of these. I can talk about some stories while other stories even if I was a part of them they are for someone else to tell in their own time. I choose to protect the rights of others especially when I call them family.
After I was in college for a year I was convinced God was calling me to work in a home for women with various problems. The original vision was a place where Christian women could live and learn together as they went about their individual routines. That changed to unwed mothers, runaways, drug addicts, damaged and abused women and children ( our youngest in the house was14) with several babies running around. Doesn't sound  like a bad gig for a 70's Jesus Movement convert just looking for the Heart of God ? It was! A POT HOLE of almost irreparable damage. Sure I learned a  lot from the experience like how to strip and wax floors, clean nasty toilets, cook for 20 plus a day, and listen to our leader explain that she was Gods voice to me. That last part sounded like the time to ditch that gig!
I don't think my precious angel of a daughter would like to be referred to as a pothole! Her arrival came a little earlier than the wedding bells. For me and her daddy that was perfectly fine. For some others it was a bit more unsettling to say the least. This bump( no pun intended) was one I just had to hold onto my seat for a few seconds! This bump became Grace for me. I will be eternally grateful for Emily Afton!
Much later in my life symptoms that I had had all along became a sink hole (much larger than pot holes). A wrong diagnosis of bipolar disorder and an uber string of medicines that sent me into a world of darkness. Leaving me with no memories of a month worth of events ( the no memories part was probably good for me, not for my precious husband that had to watch some pretty awful stuff.) It was about six months before I could hear the birds and feel the sunshine and unwrap from my cocoon and crawl out into some sense of living again.At this moment I can hear  the birds are singing "pritty pritty"and I am alive and ready for my adventure.
 Potholes, ruts, washed out roads, and even sink holes can't hold you back for long even if they take your adventure in a different direction it's still an adventure!
Peace, till we visit again! I'll post soon about how our adventure is developing after hitting a pot hole!
Happy Easter ~ He is risen ~ He is risen indeed ~ Amen

Lists can be life savers...

Good morning! You got a list going for today, this week or for this year?
I am starting to believe I may be addicted to lists. I don't feel like this is a bad thing, actually I think it is good! My counselor is always saying stay on your routine, keep your list, it keeps you centered and can save your life I confess I routinely don't stay on my routine! Bunny trails are a weakness!
From the inception of "Another adventure may still be in us!" there have been more than one list  posted possibly one in each post. Now I am wondering if lists are a cop out to "real writing" or a concise way to get out a lot of info.
Who else do we know that have successfully used lists in getting their points across.

• God~ The 10 commandments
• Jesus~ The Beatitudes
• The founding fathers~The Bill of Rights
• Santa~ Naughty and Nice
• Benjamin Franklin~ 13 Virtues
• Craig~ Craigslist.com

Send me lists that have meant something to you! I would love to hear them!
Personally, I think lists are a snapshot of a whole lot more  you have to say about what's going on. I'm thinking my lists of the earlier posts will probably turn into a post later. Maybe the lists are just holding my thoughts till I need them! One more list!

• Preachers~ 3 points and a poem

Peace, till we visit again!

Not cold feet just an attack of What ifs!

When I was pregnant with our first child I would walk, climb stairs anything to start the labor. I was so tired! I was tired of mother saying "it's a full moon,(waning or waxing didn't matter) surely she will come tonight" or "lets eat something really spicy and see if that will help".Oh, how tired I was of old wives tales!
The one thing I think really did help (in my mind at least) was riding around in an old delivery van that was bumpy as HELLO! Hartley and I would laugh as this huge person in the passenger seat would flop around, grab for the door, look for anything to hold on to!(wet my pants and hope it was my water breaking). Inevitably his route would take him to the back forty of east bageezus!!!! With every washed out rut and pot hole I just knew my water was about to break! No such luck! My water didn't break for another week or so while we were having a relaxing dinner and a huge slab of coconut pie at The Club Cafe! The waitresses were so excited cause we were like family there. We had eaten there since we were in high chairs and now a new generation was about to appear!
Like you we have all hit bumps in the road. Some have only made us reach for the oh ---- handle, others caused a flat tire, while others have caused a wreck with irreparable damage.In our lives we have experienced all of these.I can talk about some stories while other stories even if I was apart of them they are for someone else to tell in their own time. I choose to protect the rights of others especially when I call them family.
After I was in college for a year I was convinced God was calling me to work in a home for women with various problems.The original vision was for a place where Christian women could live and learn together as they went about their individual routines. That changed to unwed mothers, runaways, drug addicts, damaged and abused women and children ( our youngest in the the house was14) with several babies running around.Doesn't sound  like a bad gig for a 70's Jesus Movement convert just looking for the Heart of God ? It was! A POT HOLE of almost irreparable damage. Sure I learned a  lot from the experience like how to strip and wax floors, clean nasty toilets, cook for 20 plus a day, and listen to our leader explain that she was Gods voice to me. That last part sounded like the time to ditch that gig!
I don't think my precious angel of a daughter would like to be referred to as a pot hole!Her arrival came a little earlier than the wedding bells. For me and her daddy that was perfectly fine. For some others it was a bit more unsettling to say the least.This bump( no pun intended) was one I just had to hold onto my seat for a few seconds! This bump became Grace for me. I will be eternally grateful for Emily Afton!
Much later in my life symptoms that I had had all along became a sink hole (much larger than pot holes). A wrong diagnosis of bipolar disorder and an uber bstring of medicines that sent me into a world of darkness. Leaving me with no memories of a months worth of events ( the no memories part was probably good for me, not for my precious husband that had to watch some pretty awful stuff.) It was about six months before I could hear the birds and feel the sunshine and unwrap from my cocoon and crawl out into some sense of living again.At this moment I can hear  the birds are singing "pritty pritty"and I am alive and ready for my adventure.
 Potholes, ruts, washed out roads, and even sink holes can't hold you back for long even if they take your adventure in a different direction it's still an adventure!
Peace, till we visit again! I'll post soon about how our adventure is developing after hitting a pot hole!
Happy Easter ~ He is risen ~ He is risen indeed ~ Amen

So much stuff in my brain that wants to get blogged out!

I am so excited about the stuff running around in my brain that I want to post! Some times I think I could do it every few minutes! Wouldn't you love that!
What a day! We were chasing our tails doing "getting ready for our adventure stuff" while having to do just everyday stuff that has to just get done!Without a list we wouldn't get anything accomplished.So I thought you might like to see what yesterdays looked like!

• get hair cut for passport pic
• put passport papers in pile(we picked up the forms earlier so we could do them at home cause it was much easier that way.)
• go to post office for pic and turn in papers( take $ ours cost roughly $152 each)
• call Stuart(our dentist cause we don't know about the medical system yet, like how long it takes for a new patient to get an appointment for example)
• make appointment with Dr.for overall check up (not SHOTS yet PTL!)
• go to grocery store( this is the time to start making a conscience effort to have friends and family over you need to keep those connections strong never know you may have to move in with them some day)
• o to landscaping place( our yard needs some help before we rent it out and thank heavens my brother will be moving here next week and he is an excellent gardener! Try Garden of Eden here in H.S. if you live here! They are great!Here's a link http://www.gardenofedenark.com/
• finish taxes(this will pay for the lap top)
• get new lap top( not really necessary for all adventures but Hartley needs one for school. What is necessary is a good camera or one of those fancy phones that take great pics and you can send to pics anywhere. I just have to learn to use one at my age!!!)
• social security cards (I have simply misplaced mine I am sure it's not lost.Surely its not LOST!!!)

Whoooh! I am tired just looking at the list! I must confess we didn't get everything done! (Don't feel guilty just do like we do and move it to the next days list!) I may feel abit tired but just knowing that we are in the midst of a grand new adventure is worth it!
Well, peace till we visit again!
OH! Don't forget to play hot and cold with us! Just add your guess to where we might be going in the comment section.I will let you know if you are hot or cold!
Important stuff I forgot to tell you! Don't wear white for your passport pic you will only be a head in the midst of a white background!This was true for our post office maybe yours is alittle more up class. Just a warning!

Simple Words Round Two.

The first shot at this, I finished my  first post ever and pushed something wrong and poof it was gone! Off on a good foot ya think!
Well here we go again!
Hartley and I were visiting some good friends the other day Jo & Dru Dodson. You will most likely hear more about them in the future.Jo says " isn't it wonderful that we still have an adventure in us".Those simple words came after we dropped the bomb about our new adventure. I am sure somewhere tucked in her words  were(even at our age). So keep your ears open! From those words this Blog was conceived.Simple words can start you on the way to your adventure! This Blog is part of my adventure!
Well,you say, what the hay is your big adventure at your age anyway?
Hartley is going to Bridge Linguatec in Denver for a month to learn to teach English as a foreign language! Here's the link you can check it out Bridge Linguatec.com. He will take intensive training for 10 hours a day and they tell us about 5 hours of study at night! Glad it's him and  not me! That should give you an ideal that we probably won't be staying in the good ole USA. What I am going to do while he is gone to Denver (other than loose 5lbs) is  share with you the process we have to go through to get to where ever we are going to end up!As well as the reasons why we are doing this trek. We have an idea where we will be but I don't want to tell and jinks it! It would be fun for you to start guessing  I'll tell you if your hot or cold! Just put your guess in the comment section. This will be fun! You guys that already have an  insight don't give it up!
In my blog I am going to talk about visas,shots,passports,living accommodations,food,flora and fauna,expats and locals. There will be some hard ones to talk about too like leaving your cat and dog behind and your kids(don't think I put those in the right order)and leaving old friends for a world totally unknown. Even at our age there may be another adventure in us! Peace till next time!

Words simply spoken.